How My Journey Started

Early Years

For as long as I can remember, music has mesmerized me. I grew up listening to the sounds of classical and jazz music which pulled me to the grand piano in our family living room. It was there that I started improvising little melodies.

Around the age of five or six, my parents signed me up for formal piano lessons with a local teacher. I started my lessons with great enthusiasm, but quickly learned that I didn’t have much discipline for sitting still and practicing. I recall how much I loved listening to my teacher play, but when it was time for me to demonstrate my progress, I felt frustrated with my efforts.

My parents signed me and my older sister up for a music theory class at a local music school. Drawing treble clefs and writing down note names was a boring disconnect from the love I had for listening to music. I would often daydream in class. After one of our tests that I did OK on, the teacher said to me with a look of surprise, “Did your sister help you with this test?” Apparently, he didn’t see much promise in me. 

Junior High Jazz Band

When I was nine years old, my family moved from Belgium to the United States. It was hard to leave behind our friends and family, but everyone was excited for us to move to California. The mountains and big highways were a big scene change from the flat, rural town I grew up in.

I'll never forget the first concert I attended at Universal Studios. We got to see a Blues Brothers cover band perform live. Hearing “Soul Man” was electrifying. After that concert, I was inspired to pick up the saxophone.

I tried out my first horn when I was eleven years old, and I joined the jazz band in sixth grade. Getting a sound out of the sax took some time, but it was easier to pass the initial hurdles than with piano. Our director was named Don Ramsey. I’ll never forget the way he would walk into class with with a bounce in his step, even as he was approaching retirement. 

Mr. Ramsey picked great tunes for us to work on. Straight No Chaser, Moose the Mooche, Maiden Voyage, Stolen Moments, Daahoud, Caravan… these are the charts we would rehearse and take to the Reno Jazz Festivals each year. It was here that I first experienced the thrill of taking a solo. I loved that butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling as I approached the end of the head of a tune, getting ready to improvise with no idea of what would come out.

I don’t have any recordings of myself from those days, but I recall winning a solo award at one of those festivals. It’s true that I had an immediate connection with jazz music, and I listened to it all the time. While most of my friends were had Blink 182, Linkin Park, and Outkast on their iPods, I was listening to Charlie Parker, Dexter Gordon, and Michael Brecker. 

Musical expression became an important outlet for me. Being somewhat of an introvert by nature, with music I felt understood. It was about the expression of a feeling, whether it was emulating Coltrane's longing on In a Sentimental Mood, or letting off steam on Tenor Madness.

There was always something magical to me about being able to translate emotion into music. I recall listening to Keith Jarrett’s 1988 album “Dark Intervals” and how he communicated something so raw and emotional through the piano. I remember going to my saxophone at times and playing until I lost track of time to soothe my anxiety. The one thing I did understand was that in music there was comfort and predictability.

High School Symphonic Band

Jazz took a backseat in high school. The jazz band was scheduled during the "A Period" before school started, and I didn’t want to make that commitment. But I still played in the concert and symphonic bands under our director Harvey Benstein. With his furrowed brow and thick mustache, Mr. Benstein commanded our respect. I remember during one rehearsal when he wanted our oboe player to put more passion into her solo. He told her, “I want you to take all the shit in your life, and put it into those notes.” All of us got goosebumps when she played it again.

One year in band, we did an entire program of music by the contemporary composer Eric Whitacre. Eric was mostly known for his choral works, but my first exposure to him came through his band music. We performed Ghost Train, Godzilla Eats Las Vegas, October, and Water Night. These pieces were a blast to play. My favorite piece was Ghost Train because of all the imaginative extended techniques, like when the percussion section had to pull bows across music stands to simulate the sound of wheels moving along a train track.

I learned some great lessons from Mr. Benstein. He often talked about the concept of tension and release in music. This central principle manifests through melody, harmony, rhythm, and texture. I remember making the connection that so many aspects of life follow that principle… the movement of our breath, the rhythm of the day, the change of the seasons.

During my last year of high school, I decided to enroll in AP Music Theory class because I wanted to understand music on a deeper level. It was a challenge to say the least. I took so many notes in class and even made up my own elaborate charts to memorize intervals and the circle of fifths, but none of it came easily to me. My classmate John who played piano as his primary instrument would fly through his tests, while I was typically the last one to finish. But I was determined to keep trying to make sense of it all.

Joining the Choir

After my junior year in high school, a lack of student commitment in the symphonic band made me want to try something new. My older sister encouraged me to check out the choir program, even though I had never done any kind of formal singing.

I decided to take a few lessons in preparation for the auditions, so I contacted a voice teacher who worked as the director’s assistant, James Toland. When I showed up at Mr. Toland’s door for my first lesson, I felt a bit intimidated as he studied me from behind his thick rimmed glasses.

He had me sing some scales with different syllables, and then I tried a few phrases out of an Italian method book. It was actually kind of fun! I made a good enough impression on him that he notified the director, and I left with an excitement that I hadn’t felt in a long time. A few weeks later, I was standing in front of the audition panel singing a German art song, Schumann’s Die Lotosblume, and then returning to call-backs with a group of experienced singers to test out the balance of the ensemble. I couldn’t believe it when I saw my name on the final list.

While I had always felt music on a deep level, I had never experienced the visceral effect of singing in a group. The vocal harmony sent chills down my spine. I had a lot to learn about reading the bass clef and developing better relative pitch, but I was ready for the challenge. Our director Gene Peterson was a fantastic conductor, and it was amazing to see how words added a whole new dimension to the music. The vowels and consonants were the articulation and tone colors of our instrument. 

Singing helped me develop an essential skill in my music journey that musicians call audiating. Audiating refers to hearing a sound in your mind with no external reference. Some refer to it as using the “inner ear.” All musicians rely on this to play by ear and improvise, but for singers especially, this internal sense of pitch is crucial.

During my final year of high school in the choir, we performed in concerts, competed in festivals, did an a cappella showcase of pop and musical theater songs, and I was cast in the musical production of the Wizard of Oz. It was a whirlwind of new experiences.

At one of the district festivals, the choir from Chapman University was visiting and Mr. Peterson encouraged me in the spur of the moment to audition for William Hall, Chapman's director. Dr. Hall listened to me intently, and commented that he could tell I loved to sing. He informed me then and there that they could provide a scholarship to assist with the tuition of attending their private university.

There are some decisions in life that seem to make themselves, and it felt that way for me as I was applying for college. I found out that I had gotten into UC Berkeley, my other dream school, but as I weighed the pros and cons of my options, I sensed that this was the direction life wanted me to go in. Even with my broad interests in science, business, and psychology, I decided to enroll at Chapman as a music major. 

To be continued!